


Practice What You Preach

by ObsidianRomance



Series: A Matter of Coincidence 'Verse [5]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 11:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You need to read Confined Spaces and the other installments of the "A Matter of Coincidence" Verse to understand this story.<br/>The twins decide they like keeping Jared up all night.  Jensen thinks he can fix this.  He would much rather be the one keeping Jared up all night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practice What You Preach

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mpreg, cursing, schmoop, postmpreg!jared, bottom!jensen (or what I would like to now refer to as versatile!jensen - he is not very bottomish) , sex sex sex  
> Word Count: 7,160  
> Rating: PG at the beginning, NC-17 for porn at the end  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the mistakes. I am just borrowing characters and faces for fun.  
> Authors Note: I need to make a comment about the sex scene here. If bottom!jensen squicks you, then just skip the end of this story. Don't worry, bottom!jared will be coming up in the next story or two. I have decided that since I usually have the Js switch roles in my stories, I am going to call them versatile. I know some people are a true top or a true bottom (I have friends who are such), but I know many people who switch. They are pretty versatile. In this story Jensen prefers to top but will bottom too. Hence versatile!jensen. I hope that makes sense to people.
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://www.flickr.com/photos/85421651@N04/7826580544/)  
> 

Jared looks like he is dead on his feet.  It is lunch time and if Jensen didn’t know that fact he would think his boyfriend was ready for bed.

That’s not normal.  Jared usually has it all together.  Since coming back to work last month he has handled juggling his twins, work, and Jensen beautifully.  His secretary is still bringing the girls to work, but they have fallen into a routine that they can follow almost blindly.  They both pitch in and his clients love to fuss over Arianna and Brooke.  But who wouldn’t?  They are probably the cutest twins on earth, Jensen is certain.  They are so cute that Jensen breaks his rule about no babies while at his work desk almost daily.

The problem isn’t at work.  It is this new nasty habit the girls have developed during the normal hours when all people should be sleeping.  They were usually pretty good about sleeping thru the night, only waking up if they were hungry or needed to be changed, but from what Jared tells him, they have discovered that crying equals being picked up and now they are running Jared ragged.  Jensen has tried to reason with them but they play dumb, blinking innocent green eyes back at his plea.

Jensen doesn’t get to see that part of the girls’ routine personally.  He knows there are very real boundaries about spending the night at Jared’s place.  They are wavering ones, but still standing for now.  So he is stuck watching Jared slowly transform into a zombie…which he hates.  If he thinks about it too long it scares the shit out of him.  He has to reel in his daydreams to remember that Jared is just tired, not deciding if he wants to eat Jensen’s brains or not.

After watching Jared’s head jerk up and shudder out of almost falling asleep at his desk, Jensen thuds a hot cup of coffee, lots of milk and no sugar, in front of him.  “Hey, you promised.”

“Huh?”  Jared blinks up at Jensen, eyes squinty and tired as he runs a hand though his hair.

“You promised you wouldn’t become a zombie.”  He smiles and though he is joking the thought itself isn’t any more settling.  Zombie Jared would mean he would have to shoot him in the head.

Horrifying.

Or, worse yet, he would probably become one of those sick freaks that chained their zombie loved ones up in a room and fed them cats and stray dogs or something.  He might even convince himself that Jared was still ‘in there’ somewhere.  The thought makes his skin crawl and he has to push it away before he dreams up new ammunition for his nightmares.

Jared sees his reaction and actually laughs.  How the man barely has the energy to keep his head up but finds a way to laugh is just one of the many mysteries that is Jared.   “Don’t worry.  I am still among the land of the living.”

“Good.  Can you stay there then?”  Jensen takes a long sip of his own coffee while raising an eyebrow at the younger man.

“Sorry.  The girls decided to play their own exhausting version of tag last night.”  Jared yawned and stretched his back out, rolling his eyes to the side of the room to check on said children.  “Look how cute they are.”  He paused to let Jensen get a good look of both girls happily strapped into their bouncers.  “It’s all a façade.  Behind those adorable chubby cheeks they are hiding a selfish plot to slowly enslave me.”

Scratching the back of his neck, Jensen shrugged.  “Listen, I am no expert, nor am I their parent, but why don’t you just let them cry?”  He bites the corner of his lip, hoping Jared won’t take his words to mean that he is doubting his parental skills.

“I…”  Jared paused, his eyes darting around the room.  “It’s just…”

He doesn’t need to finish his words for Jensen to know what he is thinking.  It has only been three weeks since Brooke’s emergency visit to the hospital and he would be lying if he said his heart didn’t speed up in panic every time the girls cried.  The first days with Brooke home left him feeling like he was walking on glass.  Anytime either baby cried he and Jared jumped, unknowingly caving to a bad habit of doting on the girls at every little whimper.  They were getting better but the girls still realized that they could have the attention of either man if they screamed loud enough.  He understands how and why he and Jared fed his habit, but he also knows they need to break it.  “I know you worry about Brooke.”

Sighing, Jared rested both elbows on his desk.  “Every time one of them cries I am afraid it is going to be Retroactive Synovitis again or something worse.  I know I am just being paranoid but that kind of fear doesn’t just go away.  It’s the same reason why I checked to see if Brooke was breathing 238 times a day when I brought her home.”

Jensen laughed.  “You still do that.”

“Yeah well…She hasn’t had the best luck.  I worry.”  Jared rolled his eyes up to meet those of Jensen, who was still standing beside him.

“I know you worry.  I worry too.  But look at them, they are fine and getting stronger every day.”  Jensen ran a hand through Jared’s hair, scratching his fingers along the base of his neck and laughing when Jared arched into the touch.  “I think they are just testing you, trying to figure out how you respond to them.  You are wearing yourself down and at the rate you are going you are not going to be any use if they actually do need you to think on your feet.”

“I can’t just let them cry.”

“Yes you can.&rdquo

“No, I really don’t think I can.  I’ll say that I will, but I know I’ll cave and end up snuggling them even more.”  Jared let out a huff and sat back in his chair, tilting the back rest with his weight.  “God, I am such a push over.”

Jensen paused for a moment and took another sip of his coffee.  “So I’ll do it.”

“Oh great, that solves everything.”  Jared let out a snort.

“I mean it.  Put them down for the night and then the moment they start crying you leave.  Go somewhere, stay at my place, do errands.  You know they are safe with me.”  He sat on the edge of Jared’s desk, twisting towards the younger man.  “If you aren’t in ear shot then you can’t cave.”

“I dunno…”  Jared bit his lip and looked over at his daughters.

“What don’t you know?”

“I trust you.  I know they will be fine…but I feel so pathetic that I can’t do this on my own.”  Jared sighed and rubbed a hand over his forehead.

Carefully, Jensen placed his coffee cup on the desk.  “You’re not pathetic.  You are far from it.”  He leaned forward and gently grabbed Jared’s jaw.  “You thought you almost lost Brooke twice in 4 months, that would scare anyone.  And because you love her, and Arianna, so much, you want to be there for both of them.  That isn’t pathetic.”  He arched his back and pressed a soft kiss to Jared’s parted lips.  “You’re exhausted and I just want to help.”  Before pulling away he dropped another kiss, this time Jared tilting his chin up and greedily trying to hang onto the connection

Jared flushed briefly, eyes locked on Jensen’s.  It was the way he always looked after they kissed, like he was lost in the moment and didn’t know how to get back to reality.  “You’re right.  I’m exhausted.”  He pulled away from Jensen.  “And I did promise you no zombie transformations.”  He licked his lips before pushing out of his chair and rising so that his face hovered a few millimeters from Jensen’s.  “Please help me?”

It was more than a request.  It was a willingness to let Jensen into another part of his life.  Eyes quickly darting to the wall clock on the side of the room, Jensen smirked at the fact that they had 20 more minutes before his next client came in.  “Anything for you.”  He reached out and yanked them closer together, closing the small gap between their lips

Jared had been ready for that, was kissing him before Jensen could even wrap his brain around the action.  He was fisting the clothing at the small of Jensen’s back and pulling him just as close.  It was in these little ways that Jensen knew Jared was all in, was just as wanting of their connection as he was.  He sent a mental message to the twins saying they better keep being their well behaved selves, and sighed into Jared’s kiss when the girls and he appeared to have an understanding.

**************

Not wanting to waste any time, Jared asked Jensen to come over the same night so they could get started on breaking the habit that they had enforced.

Jared didn’t want to spend the night away from his daughters, but he thought a good starting point would be going to a 24 hour grocery store and maybe even getting some laundry done outside of the apartment.  He would still be tired in the morning but at least he would get some errands done and start getting the girls used to his new rules.

Jensen agreed, like all things with Jared, baby steps seemed to be the best plan of attack.

So after a relatively uneventful night and delicious dinner that both he and Jared prepared together, both men were lazily lying on the couch, Jared sprawled over most of it, his long limbs making the most contact with Jensen that they could.  Jensen’s fingers were absently tracing patterns along Jared’s exposed skin, enjoying the noises the man made every so often.

It was only a matter of time until one of the girls let out a cry.  It was weak and half hearted but enough for Jared to sit up straight.

“She’s fine.”  Jensen ran a hand down the younger man’s back.

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a moment, waiting to see if the cries would increase in volume.  It took a few minutes but Arianna, as Jared insisted that was who was crying, became more impatient, her cries echoing through the apartment.

“You should go.  It’s okay, they’ll be fine.”  Jensen stood up and held out a hand to pull Jared to his feet.  “There may be two of them, but I think I can take ‘em.”  He laughed to lighten the mood.

Jared nodded.  “Yeah.  I should go.”  He looked in the direction of the nursery before returning his eyes to Jensen.  “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

Cupping a hand along Jared’s jaw line, Jensen smiled.  “Of course I don’t mind.”  Gently he nudged Jared towards the door.  “Go.  I’ll miss you but I’ll survive.”

Still hesitant, Jared took a moment to tug on his jacket before returning to Jensen.  “I’ll miss you too.”  He tilted his head up to give the man a quick kiss.  “I have my cell on me, call if you need anything.”

“Will do.”  Jensen pushed Jared’s hair out of his face.  “I’ll see you soon.  Don’t have too much fun food shopping.”

Arianna cried louder and Jared stiffened.  “I should go.”  He took a step towards the door.  “I’m going.”

Jensen had to laugh at Jared’s reluctance.  “So you’ve said.”

“Right, okay…going now.”

Raising an eyebrow Jensen shooed him away.  “Good bye.”

“Bye.”  With one last peak around the apartment, Jared ducked out the door, pulling it closed carefully behind him.

Running a hand thought his hair, Jensen laughed at the younger man’s actions, finding them more adorable than anything else.  He listened to Arianna’s cries for a moment before deciding they were definitely cries for attention and plopping himself back on the couch.  This wasn’t too hard.  All he had to do was wait the girls out and he was sure they would exhaust themselves and fall back to sleep.  Being around them so often, Jensen felt like he was a pretty good judge of what each of the girls' noises meant.  And as long as both girls were just whining for attention, he was going to keep his ass on the couch.

Arianna kept up her cries as Jensen fiddled with the television remote, trying to find a channel to keep his mind off of worrying about the girls.  He knew they were fine.  He was positive.  But every time Arianna hit a certain octave he had to fight his initial reaction to launch himself off the couch.

Okay…maybe this wasn’t so easy.

Just as he doubted his will power, Arianna’s cry became a whimper and eventually dissolved into silence.

Mentally patting himself on the back, Jensen kicked up his legs and finally let the tension in his body escape.  He even found a channel showing a documentary he had been meaning to watch

It was going well, but Brooke destroyed that fact.  Just as Jensen felt himself nodding off on the couch, Brooke let out a shrill cry.  There was no warning, no warm up, it was just a loud shriek that jolted Jensen into complete wakefulness

He knew it was Brooke, he also knew it was not her hungry or uncomfortable cry.  It was her annoyed cry.  But the fact that it was Brooke made waiting her cries out more difficult than Arianna’s.  He flashbacked to a month ago when her little body was stiff and screaming.  The only thing that helped was reminding himself that her cry was different.  She wasn’t in pain.  But he still got that nagging feeling in his gut.

Brooke kept up her cries, getting louder than he thought the 5 month old could get.

Maybe he would just go peak on them to make sure they were okay.  Just one quick peak around the corner of the door.

He wouldn’t pick them up.

He wouldn’t.

He just wanted to play it safe, make sure someone hadn’t broken into their bedroom.  It didn’t matter that Jared was on the third floor and their window was barely big enough for a 7 year old to climb through.  You never know.  Better safe than sorry.

Just one peak.

Jensen pushed himself off the couch and padded his way to the nursery.  Not wanting to turn on the light, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the small nightlight in the room and took a glance at both cribs.  Brooke was awake and crying, but Arianna was awake too, making small whimpers that he hadn’t heard from the other room.

There were no intruders.

Both girls were fine.

Which is why Jensen has no idea why he is in the room, light turned on, scooping Brooke into his arms.  He gets her situated against his chest before he scoops Arianna up too, her big eyes looking at him like he is a traitor for picking her sister up first.  With one infant belly down on each side of his chest, Jensen makes his way back to the couch.

He is sitting down, semi-reclining in the corner of the couch with each girl happily snuggling against him, when he realizes what just happened.

“Crap.”

Arianna is rooting her face around on his shoulder, snuggling in and getting comfortable.  She stopped crying almost the moment he picked her up.  Brooke’s cries are quickly becoming whimpers, and Jensen is nuzzling both of them, cooing in the process.

The girls clearly have mind control techniques.

He doesn’t even remember deciding to pick them up.

He can’t even remember why he didn’t pick them up in the first place.  They look so happy and content, why was he not doing this before?

Brooke yawns big, locks eyes with Jensen and actually smiles.  She is giving him a big open mouthed gummy smile of happiness.

It is then that Jensen realizes maybe he is worse at this than Jared.

Promising himself he is just going to hold them for ten more minutes, Jensen gets comfortable.  With the way they wind up falling into the couch, Brooke lands more in the crook of his arm and Arianna is up higher on his shoulder.  He gives Ari’s soft head of hair several kisses, letting her grab onto the fingers of the arm he has wrapped protectively around her.

He reminds himself he has 8 minutes left.

Then he falls asleep.

He is woken by a flash going off in his face.  He can see the bright light from behind his eyelids and when it goes off again he blinks himself into consciousness.

He has no idea how long he has been asleep.

The first thing he realizes is that he still has sleeping twins in his arms.

The second is that Jared is looking down at him with a camera in hand.

The third is that he is in trouble.

Jared is laughing though, quickly taking another picture while Jensen looks baffled.

“I thought you said you could handle them.”  Tossing the camera to the other side of the couch, Jared leaned down and, without waking her, transferred Brooke into his arms.

Jensen doesn’t have enough brain power yet to come up with an answer, so he just blinks guiltily at Jared.  The younger man is giving him an ‘I told you so’ look, but he smiles again and takes off in the direction of the nursery.

Yawning, Jensen pushes himself to his feet.  Arianna is still out cold on his shoulder and he does his best to keep her that way as he creeps into the room beside Jared.  Once both girls are back in their cribs, where they should have been all along, they tip-toe out of the room and close the door.

Jensen heads off in the direction of the living room but Jared yanks his arm, pulling him towards his bedroom.

“Come on sleepy head.”  Jared is still all smiles.

Jensen still can’t figure out how to make words.  He is tired and also feels like a big failure, but before he can say anything Jared get’s behind him and shoves him into the bedroom.

“I told you they had an evil agenda to make us their slaves.”  Jared pulls off his jacket and tosses it onto the floor

Standing in the middle of Jared’s bedroom, Jensen can’t figure out what is happening.  He’s been in here before, made use of the bed a couple of times, but it’s never been 3 in the morning.

“Are you sleepwalking?”  Jared grabs the hem of his shirt and yanks it over his head, before giving Jensen a quizative stare.

“Me? No…I…”  He watches Jared move, swallows hard when the man toes off his shoes, undoes his pants and shimmies out of them.  This isn’t helping him find words.  “I can go…”

“Does this look like I want you to go?”  Jared raises his arms and opens them, exposing most of his body.

Shaking his head back and forth rapidly, Jensen swallows again.  “No.”  He runs a hand through his hair.  “I’m sorry I caved.  Sorry I couldn’t help much.  I hope you’re not upset.”

“Are you kidding?  First of all, it makes you human.  It makes me feel better than I am not the weakest person on the planet. Second, it was about the sweetest sight I have ever come home to.  How could I be mad at that?”  Jared has closed the gap between the two of them.  He is still smiling as his fingers undo the buttons on Jensen’s shirt.

Jensen finally feels the right to smile.  “I think they can use mind control.”

“Me too.”  Jared has Jensen’s shirt undone and helps the man slide it down his shoulders and off his arms.  He gets even closer, so close Jensen can feel their mutual body heat radiating between their bodies

“I’m still sorry I have absolutely no will power around them.”  Jensen shifts his body so they fit together, arms moving to curl around the small of Jared’s back.

“That makes two of us then.”  And then Jared is kissing him, destroying any ability Jensen has to think straight.  His hands go to Jensen’s pants, undoing the belt buckle quickly before stumbling with the pants button and zipper.

Jensen helps steady Jared’s hand and together they rid him of his pants.

Jared breaks the kiss, eyes glinting mischievously in the moonlight of the room.  “I know you tried.  And I appreciate that.”  He shoves Jensen backwards, making him stumbled before the backs of his legs hit the bed and he falls down on it.  “Thought I would show you how much I appreciate it.  How much I appreciate you.”

Mouth going dry, Jensen licks his lips.  He scoots back on the bed the moment Jared looks intent on crawling towards him.  “I never mind.”  Jensen hits the headboard and Jared has him pinned.  Any remnants of sleep that still had a hold on him were banished.  He stares up at Jared, body tingling with anticipation and butterflies in his belly going into overdrive.  “I’d do anything for you.”

“I know.”

Jensen can’t respond because Jared attacks his lips.  The man is so solid in his actions that Jensen can’t help but think maybe he has had this planned.  It doesn’t matter.  Nothing matter except those lips on his and the way Jared’s hands are teasing at the waistband of his boxer briefs.  He leans up into Jared’s kiss, letting the man have some control but nipping out every so often.  It is how they always lost themselves, clawing at each other and trying to keep as much contact as possible

He grabs onto Jared’s hip bones and the man lets out a moan, Jensen’s mouth quickly swallowing the sound.  His actions are fueling the man on more, and Jensen isn’t surprised when Jared pulls away to tug him down the bed, landing Jensen flat on his back.

“God Jared…”  Jensen looks up at the man to find Jared’s eyes lust drunk.  He moves fast, arm shooting up to catch Jared around the back of his neck so that he can pull the two of them together.  He kissing him hard; this time he is in control.  Moving his lips against Jared’s, he swirls their tongues together between panting breaths.

He wants to keep the connection but Jared has other plans.

Jared sits back on his heels, smirking at Jensen before his fingers stop teasing and actually yank Jensen’s underwear down and off.  He moves in a series of graceful actions, mouth coming down to capture Jensen’s nipple, biting gently before trailing kisses down to his swelling cock.

Jensen’s hips buck, he can’t help it.  Jared’s mouth is amazing at everything it does, but this is probably Jensen’s favorite.  His eyes roll back the moment the younger man uses his tongue to trace circles around the tip of his length, and he moans when Jared swallows him down in one movement.  His breath comes in little pants and he is so hard he knows he isn’t going to last long.

Propping himself up on one elbow, he looks down at Jared, watches his head bob up and down over his length.  All breath leaves his lungs when Jared sucks him just the right way, tongue running over the ridges of his cock.  Jared is in control, there is no doubt about it.  He loves the way Jared’s body moves, the confidence in his actions.  Being intimate with Jared always comes with a hesitation, but seeing the man so certain makes Jensen’s heart thud faster and louder.

“Fuck!”  He muffles his moan with his fist and looks down.  Jared rolled his eyes to meet his.

Their stares lock and it is the eye contact that does it for him.  Jared’s eyes are so intense, so determined, so content, that Jensen crumbles under them.  Keeping himself propped up he grabs the back of Jared’s head, fingers entwining with his hair, bucks into his mouth three times and then comes, hard.  They keep up the eye contact the whole time.

Jared makes shallow bobs of his head as Jensen rides out his orgasm, his lips still sealed around the flesh and his mouth swallowing every drop of come.  He makes a noise almost like a purr as he sucks one last time and pulls off gently.

Falling back onto the bed, Jensen is a boneless heap of happiness.  His brain doesn’t have enough blood in it to think things other than how good he feels right now and how wonderful Jared is.  Jared, who is cat licking him clean, is made up of all things amazing.  Somewhere he finds his wit even though his voice is shaky.  “You appreciate me that much?”

“And then some.”  Jared crawls over Jensen’s body, smug look plastered on his face.  He lets most of his weight fall onto the man under him but he keeps his upper body propped up.  Something dances behind his eyes and his smug look transforms into a softer one.

Jensen watches this happen.  He’s not sure what is going on in Jared’s head but it can’t be too bad because the younger man still has a hint of a smile.  “What?”

Jared is silent for a moment, he guards his emotions habitually before letting the guise fall away and softening his features.  “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Jensen swallows slowly.  He’s already there, has been for more time than he should probably admit to.  Jared’s probably been there too.  The actions are speaking louder than words, but this is the first time Jared has voiced anything close to the thought of loving him.

Somehow, hearing it is different than knowing it.  Jared’s words send a shot of adrenaline through his body.  Where 5 seconds ago he was exhausted, he finds the energy to push up into Jared’s body and flip them so he is on top of the man.  His heart is thudding so hard that Jared can probably feel it as he presses their chests together.  “Me too.”  His voice is deep and aimed directly for Jared’s ear.  He pulls away enough to see the younger man give him a sly smile before attacking his lips.

And then they are back to where they were 20 minutes ago: clawing at each other, fighting for dominance of a kiss, letting throaty moans fill the bedroom.  It’s good.  Better than.  But it’s not enough.

Keeping one palm flat against the center of Jared’s chest, Jensen kisses down the side of his rib cage, trailing until he hits his hip bone and gives it a nip.  Jared moans and Jensen keeps up the kiss-suck motion across his abdomen to the other hip bone.

Jared is hard, he can feel the outline of his dick straining against his upper body as he continues his kissing

“Jensen please…”  Jared’s fingers trail along the sides of his face.

“All you have to do is ask.”  Pulling up, Jensen makes quick work of completely disrobing his boyfriend, tossing his underwear – somewhere.  The man’s cock bobs free and Jensen descends on it.  Kissing the still flesh thoroughly before taking it into his mouth.  He knows just how to swallow Jared down so that he both doesn’t gag on the length and can make Jared fist the bed sheets.

This is better.  Feeling Jared shift underneath him, knowing he is writhing, hearing the moans escaping his lips…it’s better.  But it’s not enough.   Maybe it was Jared’s words, of the full moon, or something, but Jensen wants more and actually feels brazen enough to push for it.

He pulls away for a split second, keeping one hand wrapped around the base of Jared’s dick, while he sucks two fingers into his mouth.  Then he is back to going down on the younger man.  He does something right because Jared arches off the bed slightly and kicks a leg over Jensen’s shoulder.  It’s good timing, because it gives Jensen better access to his entrance at just the right moment.

Jensen doesn’t stop his sucking, but he does slowly press his two spit slick fingers softly against Jared’s puckered entrance, trying to tease it.

Jared goes rigid.

The moans have stopped and Jensen has seen this show before.  He pulls off Jared and sits back on his heels.  Jared looks like he is ready to launch into a huge explanation and apology, so Jensen silences him with a firm kiss.  “Shh, it’s okay.  I figured it was worth a try but I don’t mind waiting.”  It is a half truth.  He doesn’t mind waiting but he is dying of anticipation.

Jared grabs Jensen’s forearm and pulls him back down to the mattress.  His words are a whisper, like he is embarrassed to say them any louder.  “I really want… _that_.  I just…can we wait? I…”

Jensen shuts him up with another kiss.  He can tell Jared wants more, can see it in the man’s eyes.  But he also sees the flash of uncertainty, fear, and hesitation.  He grabs Jared by the sides of his face and keeps him close.  “It’s okay.”

Those words hit Jared’s ear and he relaxes, body collapsing against Jensen’s.  He doesn’t question the reassurances; he’s finally learned to trust those words.  Instead he sucks in a surprised breath of air when Jensen attacks his lips again.

Jensen’s not done with Jared.  He’s not sure _what_ exactly he is doing yet, but he knows he isn’t done.

Thoughts are whizzing around his brain, and he can’t believe the words he utters actually leave his mouth.  He nips at Jared’s ear and leans in close to whisper.  “I want you to fuck me.”

“What?”  Jared can’t hide his surprise.  He tries to pull away but Jensen has him firmly around the waist.

He’s asking himself the same question.  It’s not that Jensen is opposed to bottoming, he isn’t.  It’s more that, he doesn’t do it very often.  He has a preference, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t versatile.  His brain thinks taking the physical opportunity to show Jared how much he trusts him is a great idea.  His dick is starting to think so too.  His only hesitation is that it’s been a while…he is still uncertain about it.  But this is Jared.  Jared would never hurt him.  “I want you,” he pokes a finger at Jared’s chest, “to fuck me.” Smirking he pointed his finger at his own chest.

Twisting and pulling out of Jensen’s hold, Jared finds a way to back off and stare down at the man.  He’s not saying anything, but his eyes are doing enough talking for him.  They let Jensen know that he isn’t sure what to say, what to do.  “But I…”

Jensen pushes himself up as well.  The thoughts in his head scream cliché but he doesn’t care anymore, too far in to clear his senses enough to get out.  “But you’re amazing.  I want more of you.  I want to feel you when we are connected in a way we haven’t explored before.”  He crawls and an almost predatory movement to eliminate the small gap between them.  “And before you ask, I’m sure.  I want you.  I want this.  I trust you.”

Jared continues staring, his chest rising and falling faster as his mouth tries to make words

Jensen’s hand finds its way back to Jared’s dick and curls around the semi-hard organ, teasing it back to life.  Jared is reacting to him instantly, blood filling his length and involuntary purr leaving his mouth.  “I trust you.”

To words click and Jared finds his confidence again.  It takes Jensen a minute to realize what is happening, but suddenly Jared pushes him over and manhandles him onto his knees, face half buried in the downy pillows.  The movement is so fast that by the time Jensen get a grasp on it, Jared is teasing his entrance with his tongue.  His boy doesn’t waste any time.  Once again, Jensen is thankful that when Jared finally commits himself to doing something, he _commits_.

Letting out a groan into the pillow, Jensen feels the younger man licking him open, tongue fucking him and stretching out the edges of the tight muscle.  It’s good.  It’s really good

But it’s still not enough.

When Jared pushes deeper and wiggles his tongue more forcefully a word sounding something like “Jared” leaves Jensen’s mouth.  He feels himself getting hard again despite previous thoughts that maybe he wouldn’t get there.  Jared’s… _big_.  He’s nervous and worried it’s going to hurt, but then Jared strokes his insides with his tongue and Jensen melts.

It goes on agonizingly longer than he expects.  Jared is rough but gentle, and even though every muscle in Jensen’s body feels like jello, he knows he still isn’t stretched enough.

“Jared…need more.”

Jared pulls away, and though Jensen asked for it he still mourns the loss for a moment before he rolls onto his back.  He finds the younger man staring down at him with questioning eyes.  It dawns on Jensen that either Jared’s nerves are preventing his brain from figuring out what to do next or the man hasn’t had much experience with this part.  “ _Fingers_ Jared.  Use your fingers.”

“I know.”  But Jared’s words betray that he didn’t think of the idea on his own.  He twists to the side and digs through the nightstand’s drawer.  Half of the contents end up on the floor and Jared curses before he finally comes back to the bed with a bottle of lube and a couple of condoms.  Dropping everything beside him he flips open the lube’s cap and drizzles some of the slippery substance on his fingers.  He locks eyes with Jensen as he situates himself between the older man’s legs, hooking one of them around his waist.

Jensen likes this better.  He likes being able to look at Jared and watch the way his body moves.  Letting his muscles fall back into the bed, he opens himself to Jared.  If this isn’t trust then he doesn’t know what is.  But Jared is still staring at him, slicked fingers touching but not applying pressure to his opening.  “I trust you.”  When Jared barely moves his finger Jensen reaches down and grabs the man’s wrist.  Keeping his eyes locked with Jared’s, he guides one finger into him in a slow motion.  There is no resistance in his body and he speeds up the pace, essentially fucking himself on Jared’s finger.  He pulls Jared’s hand away enough so that he can angle two fingers inside.  There is more resistance but he starts to build up a faster pace.

Jared leans closer, looks down at Jensen controlling his hand and then meets the man’s eyes again.  He takes over control, moving his hand on his own accord

Then Jared curls his fingers inside Jensen’s slowly stretching hole and makes it clear to Jensen that he _does_ know what he’s doing.  Jared's nerves fade away and he remembers how to works his hands again, how to stroke and stretch the older man’s insides

It’s almost an alien feeling having three of Jared’s fingers working inside of him; it’s been longer than he remembers.  But Jared lets out a possessive little growl and he forces himself to stay open.  He trusts Jared and the man is doing a pretty thorough job of making sure he is stretched.

Still…fingers are not a cock.  The thought makes him tense involuntarily.  Jared catches it, and coaxes his muscle to release the tension.  His fingers brush something inside him and Jensen remembers why he thought this was a good idea.  Jared does it again, this time his hand curled around Jensen’s renewed erection, and Jensen thinks he is a genius for coming up with such a wonderful plan.

He lets Jared take his time.  It’s frustrating, and he is beyond hard, but he’ll take as much prep as Jared wants to give him.  This is Jared’s game now, he needs the man to know that.

Biting his lip to prevent a whimper, he watches Jared pull away and fumble with a condom.  The man’s hands, which had been so steady a moment ago, are shaking.  Jensen finds this endearing but he doesn’t dare break Jared’s concentration.  Instead he tries to bring his word back into focus as Jared rolls the latex on and coats it with a liberal amount of lube.

“You’re sure?”  Jared takes Jensen’s leg from around his waist and swings it over his shoulder, leaving the other one parallel to the bed.  He leans close to Jensen, lips nibbling at his neck.

“God yes.”  He is so turned on right now that even if he melted the polar ice caps it wouldn’t be enough cold water to bring him back down.  Jensen nudges Jared’s face with his jaw to get him in a better position for a kiss.  He kisses him greedily, roughly moving their lips together.  His heart is pounding again and he can’t seem to keep his breathing regulated.

Jared smiles into another kiss before pulling back and yanking Jensen’s hips closer to him.  “Thank god.”  The words leave his mouth like he was expecting Jensen to say he changed his mind.  “I really want you – this – Jensen.  I…I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”  Jensen rolled his hips.  “Trust you, remember?”

Jared nodded and angled the head of his dick at Jensen’s entrance.  There is still hesitation but he keeps his eyes on Jensen’s.

Jensen has the power to stop everything right now.  But he also has the power to throw them over into new territory.  Jared only has control because Jensen trusts him enough to give it to him.  He nods and bucks his hips so that he help push Jared inside him.  It hurts but it isn’t unbearable.

Jared lets out a throaty moan as he pulls out and nudges in, repeating the action but pushing into Jensen a little further each time.  It takes him a while but eventually he is fully seated in Jensen’s tight hole.  The heat and friction of it all makes him involuntarily roll his hips deeper.

The movement makes Jensen hiss.  He doesn’t mean for the noise to come out, was trying so hard to prevent Jared from having any reason to doubt himself.  But then Jared bucked like that and the fullness was momentarily too much.  The younger man hadn’t done anything wrong but it was just the shock of the movement.

“Sorry!”  Jared pulled out much too fast.

The movement is worse than what caused the original hiss, making Jensen cringe and bite the corner of his lip.  “Shit Jared…slow.”  It hurt, not as much as he expected it to, but enough to distract him.

Jared’s eyes flashed remorse.  “Sorry! Maybe we shouldn’t…”

“Oh hell no.”  Jensen tightened both legs around Jared’s back to prevent the man from leaving.  “You’re not going anywhere.”  He pulled Jared in tight, hand maneuvering its way between their bodies to line Jared’s length up with his entrance.  “It’s good.  I want this.”  He helped guide the head into his body again, pushing down with his hips to help his tight channel suck the man in.  “Just give me a minute, okay?”

“Okay.”  Jared let Jensen take control for the moment, helping the man’s hips push down and rise off his dick.  It was slow and complicated movements but eventually Jensen’s legs released their grip on Jared and he surrendered control to Jared.

Jensen’s body tingled with the need for more.  His voice was a deep growl.  “Move.”  It wasn’t a request, it was a demand.  He smirked up at Jared.

And boy did Jared move.

Hissing replaced by panting and moaning, Jensen felt himself growing back to full hardness.  Taking Jared’s full length still stung but it came with a satisfying fullness.  The way the man moved over him, knowing that he was the reason for the delicious sounds leaving Jared’s mouth, it nullified anything painful about the action.  And then Jared’s fist came around his length and started pumping in time with his thrusts and it was pure harmony.

“Fuck, Jensen!”  Jared pushed deeper, learning in so that he could kiss Jensen’s lips as his hips moved in steady thrusts.  “So good…”  His words were lost in a moan as he twisted his hips slightly and rolled into the man under him.

Licking his lips, Jensen arched off the bed.  Every grunt or groan out of Jared’s mouth set him closer to spilling all over the man’s hand.  “Don’t stop Jared…”

Jared almost pulled out entirely before slamming in deeper, brushing against Jensen’s prostate and making the man’s insides clamp down on him.  Sweat dripped from his chest and splattered onto Jensen, mingling with his own.  “Gonna come Jen…&rdquo

“No you’re not.” Again, not a request but a command.  He bucked up into Jared, pulling him deeper.  “Don’t you dare come before I do.”

“I…”  Jared’s eyes went out of focus.  “Jensen…I…”  He kept up a fast and steady rhythm of thrusting and pumping Jensen with his hand.  Shaking his head, he pulled away enough to focus on Jensen’s face.

And that was it.  That is what always did it for him.  Jared was looking at him like he was the only person in the world and he knew he was right to trust the younger man.  The eye contact shot right through him, straight to Jensen’s dick, and he came hot and fast over Jared’s fist.  Hot splashes of come coated their bellies as he rode out his orgasm and let his muscles constrict around Jared.

Whatever sound left Jared’s mouth, it wasn’t words.  It tried to be words but just ended in loud panting as Jared’s hip stuttered and slammed into Jensen one last time before coming.  The reaction was almost violent, Jared’s body finally finding release after so much emotional turmoil and the night’s teasing.  With shallow thrusts he pumped into Jensen as the man’s muscles milked every ounce of come from him.

When Jared collapses on his chest, Jensen is ready for it, bracing the man enough so they can roll apart and lay side by side.  He swallows the hiss he almost lets out when Jared pulls out.  Even though Jared moves slowly, the rawness and emptiness of the action is discomforting.  They are both panting and trying to remember how to breathe without working as one entity.

They don’t talk.

They don’t really have to.

What is there to say that their actions haven’t said already?

Except that Jensen feels like he needs to tell Jared he is okay.  He’s better than okay.  The soreness is nothing compared to how happy he is to have torn down another one of Jared’s walls.  Two amazing orgasms just sweeten the deal.  Only he doesn’t want to sound like a line from some romance movie, so he goes for humor.  “Remind me to babysit for you more often.”

Jared, despite being a boneless heap, finds the energy to slap him across the chest.  “Shut up.”

“I’m serious.  That was…”  He rolls on his side to face Jared, their noses almost brushing, “exactly what I wanted.”

Jared raises and eyebrow.  He is sleepy and sated but there is still concern behind the man’s eyes.  “Yeah?”

“Exactly.”  Jensen lets their foreheads connect and if he keeps staring at Jared like this they are going to become Cyclopes.  “I’ve said it before…and I’ll probably wind up saying it a few thousand times more…you are amazing Jared.”

Jared’s face lit up.  “You’re pretty amazing yourself.  Even if you did cave and probably teach the girls that they can sleep in our arms all night.”  He laughed softly before going serious again.  “I’m glad you trust me.  It means…it means almost everything.”  Pausing, he ran a hand though Jensen’s sweaty hair.  “And you can trust me Jensen, I’d never hurt you.”

“I know.”  Jensen looped a hand over the man’s waist and pulled Jared closer.  “I hope you know that statement goes two ways.  I don’t know everything that happened to you in the past but…I won’t betray your trust Jared.  I won’t.”

Thinking for a moment, Jared chewed over Jensen’s words.  “I know.  I’m just trying to figure out how to navigate around someone like you.  I know you fit into my life but I’m not sure how.”  Sighing, Jared looked down.  “That sounds stupid…”

“No it doesn’t.”  Jensen frowned, much more satisfied to have the sated happy Jared back.  “Don’t worry.  We’ll get there.”  His words oozed confidence.

“I know.”  He licked his lips and gave Jensen a small smile.  “Thanks for giving me time to get there.”

“You don’t need to thank me but you’re welcome all the same.”  He smiled too.  He knew they were sweaty and disgusting and should probably clean up but he didn’t want to move, didn’t want to let his body forget this moment just quite yet.  “Jared?”

“Yeah?”

“If the girls wake up, I am letting them cry.”

“Sure you will.” Jared raises and eyebrow before nuzzling under Jensen’s chin.

And Jensen does let them cry.

He lets them cry for a whole 5 minutes.

But then he ends up in the nursery, failing yet again to keep to his plan.

It’s okay though, because Jared only lasted 4 minutes.


End file.
